First of all, I want to thank my niece, Shelby Roeder for her brave and eloquent post last week. Her story of getting out of an abusive relationship as a teenager really resonated with my followers, young and not-so-young alike. I admire her for so many reasons — her bravery, her compassion, and her wisdom.
The interview I did with Grant Graan the week before was also extremely well-received and outlined the possible legal scenarios that could occur if and when someone comes forward and files a report of abuse with law enforcement.
So thanks for reading, everybody, and for being so supportive of others during this Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault/Child Abuse Awareness Month. We need every one of our voices to come together on this issue — to protect children and battered women AND men and to report these crimes to the proper authorities.
This week, I’d like to encourage all those who:
… have told your story and started a journey of healing
… have told your story and were betrayed by those who should have believed you
… have yet to tell your storyImage may be NSFW.
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A gal named Kelly Clarkson — maybe you’ve heard of her — told her story through song about being abandoned by her father when she was only six years old. Despite her attempts through the years to reconnect with him, he apparently wasn’t as interested in having a relationship with her. Then she won a nationwide talent show called American Idol.
Here is Kelly singing her story at the American Idol finale:
That just about sums it up.
Image may be NSFW.
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As the world applauded — as Keith Urban and I bawled our eyes out — I wonder if those who live their lives in close proximity to Kelly’s father had a more lackluster response. I wonder if she had to hear things like I heard when I put my story in a book? Things like:
Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?
The past is the past.
You need to forgive and forget.
You’re using your platform to bash another person — who are you to judge?
It’s as if the person who wronged you isn’t to blame — you’re to blame for opening your mouth. But there are perfectly acceptable responses to those accusations:
Define ‘well enough’. What ever goes ‘well’ when children are abandoned? This is the story I was given.
The past still haunts sometimes. I’m looking to work through mine. It’s my story. My past will always be part of my story.
I am working through it — some validation might make the process go a little more quickly. Regardless, you can’t deny that it is my story to tell.
OR… as in my own case:
I have forgiven. Guess what? It’s still my story to tell.
And finally…
It matters not how big or small a person’s circle of influence is; we all have a story. If someone is cast in an unflattering light, he or she should have given me a better story to tell.
Kids grow up. They find their voices. They write songs. They write books. They tell their stories the way they happened. Nothing more. Nothing less. We’re not on some vendetta. We’re not out to ruin people. We’re just telling what happened to us.
Image may be NSFW.
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If you have a story that you’ve been hiding inside to protect someone else OR you are reluctant to tell your story because you have been made to feel afraid, I want you to be FREE today. Find your voice. Tell your story. If it’s a rough one, find a trauma therapist and tell that person first — even if it takes a couple of attempts. Your freedom lies therein.
Image may be NSFW.
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Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying Minklings Writing Group. She lives with her husband, Sean-Martin, in the beautiful state of Idaho and teaches English and Literature during the school year to the best 7th graders the world over. Daisy spends her summers writing, speaking, researching, creating, gardening, and canning.
Her most recent book, Hope Givers: Hope is Here, is the sequel, of sorts, to her comedic, spiritual memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, which was Christopher Matthews Publishing’s #1 top selling book in 2012. Daisy has also written a free e-book for anyone who has been or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You.
Please subscribe to Daisy’s weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.