by Grant Graan

So…

I got a message not too long ago from a childhood friend (who just happened to grow up and become a police officer – I have to say, I didn’t see that one coming) who brought up an interesting possibility: In light of the Bill Cosby scandals popping up everywhere, he thought that there was chatter in the state of Nevada legislature about lifting the statute of limitations for child sexual abuse.

He wanted to know that if that ever happened, would I ever consider pressing charges on my perpetrator. My answer?

Without question.

The number one problem with child sexual abuse – other than the fact that it even happens – is the fact that it is not reported, and when it is, time has run out to bring charges against a pedophile. If I, the founder of the Rainy Dais Community, a survivor of child sexual abuse and an advocate for anyone who has been marginalized by abuse of any kind, were to fail to file a police report if (and when) this statute is no longer an obstacle, what in God’s name kind of message would that send to my tribe?

Of course, I would file a police report. I wanted to know what his perspective was as someone who had been in law enforcement for several years. We had a discussion that I thought would make a very good interview, so here it is.

Daisy: Basically, GG, I’d love to have a voice – yours – from law enforcement that guides the reader through the process of filing a police report and some of the support systems that are available for victims of child sexual abuse. Encourage them to tell. Explain the process. Demystify it. Calm their fears. Let them know truthfully what can happen. Don’t make promises, but give them an idea of what they should expect — what to brace themselves for.

GG: In all truthfulness, this is going to be an uphill battle for those coming forward and it will largely be the twenty or so Cosby victims that have come forward that will set the precedents and tone for the future prosecutions. It won’t be pretty. Justice after forty years will always be a mixed bag. But when you are charging these parasites, the full scope of damage is usually not readily seen. It’s only after you tear past the surface and expose the structure that the bigger picture showing how many people have been compromised. The scope of the damage is probably quite larger than you or anyone else can fathom. Hell, it turned you into a democrat!

Daisy: You are hilarious.

GG: Just kidding. Seriously, though, I believe that the only way to protect the future is to take responsibility for the past. So dig up those bones. Those memories. Those emotions. Let’s not relive them but live past them and call a pedophile a pedophile and put him where his plague will not affect one more life and those around them. Let’s do it for the ones that can’t do it for themselves. It’s not going to be easy but it has to be done.

Daisy: Would you talk about the legal process? That’s what people don’t understand. I want to educate them. Educate me.

GG: That’s what I was trying to say. The procedure in the legal system has yet to be written. We are going to have to see how the first few cases are adjudicated before the procedure is known. Since there can be no evidence gathering: no DNA, no torn clothing, no bruises or evidence of battering – just the statements – the “he said/she said” of it all. [Or he/he – she/she. Not all predators are male, and not all victims are female.] This is going to scare a lot of people which is the main reason why most victims of rape do not come forward, as they don’t want to be victimized yet again by the system. It is going to take some brave people; those that aren’t afraid to exercise their rights by using their words.

What you do have is corroboration. We can weigh the evidence of other victims, of other witnesses to substantiate that this abuse occurred like those twenty women in the Cosby case. You and the others who were molested. You are the only ones that can speak for Tabitha [my sister who is deceased now]. Also there is profiling. Your abuser fits the quintessential stereotype of a molester. He occupies numerous positions of authority whereby he can use his position of trust to disarm those that would normally question in order to hide behind that veil to cause harm. Pedophiles have the habit of seeking the positions of police officer, judge, pastor, teacher and other types of positions. He fits this mold.

Another weapon we have is that he has been hidden behind what he believed was this impenetrable protection that was the statute of limitations imposed by law. It was literally his get-out-of-jail free card. If that gets stripped away, he is laid bare. Bill Cosby had millions and millions of dollars, a network, and a PhD to hide behind. No one would have dared come after him because he was untouchable. If circumstances show that he can be touched then your abuser can be touched. And he will have lots of that to look forward to.

Daisy: Can you briefly just give me a synopsis of how the legal system works when there IS evidence of abuse? What can a victim expect?

GG: For the purposes of filing charges, it would be prudent as a victim of rape previously under a statute of limitations to gather any and all evidence under your hand including:

• Witness names and contact info
• Any letters, correspondence, pictures, video or any other items that may back up your claims. It is not uncommon for perpetrators to mock their victims by sending mean-spirited or incriminating items to their victims due to the fact that they feel that they can never be prosecuted.
• You need to lay out a timetable of events. A journal or, in your case, a published book relating all of the various events and their chronology is essential so that law enforcement, detectives, the District Attorney or Attorney General can get their brains around the particulars of your victimization and the mentality of your particular perpetrator. When dealing with Law Enforcement, be patient because this is all new and they, too, are trying to deal with the ramifications of this course of action opening up. That is why it is paramount that you are adequately prepared with evidence so that it will help in case development.
• Do not be discouraged, overwhelmed, or too hot-headed in your pursuit of justice. Remember that it has been a 20, 30, 40 year journey to this point to even allow this to be a possibility. Forty-year journeys to get to the place where possibility even exists, generally take a while to sort themselves through the justice system.
• The first rule in dealing with law enforcement is “be a good witness”. Give them the tools they need to build the strongest case for prosecutors.
• You should also consult a good attorney to review your case and help in its preparation, presentation and possible civil actions that may arise. Defamation suits or charges of libel or slander are not unheard of in response to these charges. Don’t be scared, but be prepared.

When the case has been prepared it will be sent up the chain of command and forwarded to the prosecutors at either the District Attorney’s Office, the City Attorney or the Attorney General depending upon the exact circumstances in your case and the jurisdiction that it occurred in. The prosecutors will go through the file and determine the means for prosecution. They may file charges at that point or may proceed to a Grand Jury for determination on whether to issue an indictment. This is our legal system and it has its own pace.

Once charges are granted cognizance, then the case will proceed to trial. A trial date will be set. The prosecution and defense will select a jury who will hear the testimony and see the evidence to be presented and refuted. During this time you and all of your witnesses will be asked to pour out your hearts, to be vulnerable, to reach into the darkest corners of your mind and describe the worst of what exists in all of creation. All of the while your monster will be sitting there. That can be many faces. It could be the very face of evil covered with a dismissive smile, an arrogant look of defiance and superiority, or some cocker spaniel eyes acting innocent and harmless. But you know that whatever disguise that they are wearing, it is just a mask covering their cowardly, evil soul. Anyway that you look at it, it probably isn’t pretty, but remember that this is their day in court, so who cares how they present themselves? Remember this:

• Let the evidence and the weight of testimony determine the outcome and refrain from lashing out or crawling back inside your safe place.
• Be prepared for defense attorneys to be douche bags, because that is their nature. They will throw mud, make outlandish accusations and assertions and basically do anything that they can to get their client off to cause more harm to innocents. You have to be mentally, physically, and procedurally prepared for this possibility also in order to see this process through.

It is important to note that the wall of shame that was the statute of limitations had two sides. What I mean by that is, all of your writings, diaries, journals, research, doodling’s, finger-painting and other expressions over the years at whatever level of understanding or age you were at while you were processing and venting, these experiences are admissible. The main argument for that is, since you were prevented from prosecuting this monster through the legal system, most people are prone to shame, privately working out their issues with family or a counselor or in silence. Others like yourself chose to become victors and champions for their cause. Still, you did not profit much from the book, the blog or the magazine and were labeled a ‘black sheep’ by a few of your otherwise ostrich-like family. It was just your way of helping those like you. Seriously, there was no possible benefit to writing that book to confront your abuser because you were forever prevented from doing anything about it by the statute of limitations. This was all human nature in the various ways and the processes that we all go through when experiencing atrocities. It is natural. And then, suddenly, you were freed from the prohibition of statute and allowed a possibility that you never other than dreamed could exist. These chronicles are now evidence and should, in a court of law be presumed true because of this previous lack of benefit that now miraculously exists. In your particular case, it is also peculiar that your perpetrator never filed any protest or legal action in response to these allegations. If someone claimed that I had committed a heinous crime that I was innocent of, at the very least I would send them a sharply worded letter or at least a post card with a mean caption to express my disbelief and hurt from them unjustly accusing me. There is another side to the human nature of, “He doth protest too much” that leads a jury to believe that guilt exists.

After all the dust has settled, the jury foreman will stand and read the jury’s verdict. If the verdict is justice, and by that I mean guilty, they will be sentenced at a sentencing by the judge. If for some reason the jury was blind and did not see the truth, at least you had the courage to seek justice and to attempt to protect the future victims from a similar fate that you have experienced. In either case, I know that you will inspire others not to sit in the shadows believing that no one knows what they are going through and that they have to suffer alone and in silence. Be their voice. Be the difference. Show them that the solution and the courage is right there in them to stand up for themselves and for others. It is human nature to take punishment for yourself in the belief that you are keeping others from being harmed. Find that power inside of you and harness it to stand up for and with those who have been duped into believing that they are hopelessly helpless because this is just not true.

Grant Graan is a retired police officer who served and protected our hometown of Las Vegas. He is also a close childhood friend who has taken a particular interest in seeing justice done for me. Now he runs Triple G Solutions, a Las Vegas based tactics and training company. You can find him at:

http://www.grantgraanforbusinessrepresentative.com/home.html

Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying M-Inklings Writing Group. Her comedic memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, was Christopher Matthew’s #1 top selling book in 2012. She has a free e-book on her website for anyone who has or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You. Her next book, Hope Givers: Hope is Here, will be out soon. Daisy is also the Editor in Chief of RAIN Magazine, an online magazine that has been a fundraising effort for her three favorite charities and features new, up-and-coming writers. Please follow her weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.