Madonna’s “Blonde Ambition” tour completely altered the entire trajectory of my thinking in regard to my place in the world. Her admonition to me when I was in high school to “Respect [Myself]” had never been taught to me. All I had ever been taught was to respect authority — even when that authority egregiously betrayed me — because God Himself had placed that authority over me, whatever that entailed, so my job was to take my treatment and swallow it whole… respectfully and without complaint.
I love what she has to say about feminism in this video.
But as for Madonna embracing her abuse, being raped, being robbed… as gifts that have made her who she is, with this we must part ways in our view of the world and how we function in it. Make no mistake, I still give her mad respect for her art, her voice, and her spirit. However, I cannot crawl into bed with Evil and call it something else.
I think about being molested for so many horrible years by my mother’s husband — who also baptized me and who ruled our house patently unquestioned. Often when I speak in churches I am asked the question, “Isn’t there even a small a part of you that is thankful for your abuse (and, by extension, your abuser) since it made you the person that you are?”
I summarily reject the notion that I am the woman I am today because of my abuse or my abuser. I am the woman I am today IN SPITE of what I endured at the hands of this man that my mother couldn’t live without regardless of what he did to all three of her children and her sister. My perpetrator gets zero credit for my becoming the woman I am today. He does not get to claim that his fingerprints are on my life, that he was somehow instrumental in my spiritual formation. In fact, the opposite is true: he wrought havoc on my faith in God and all but destroyed it. What he did to me and to my brother and sister and our aunt was only meant to steal, to kill, and to destroy. But I have a Kinsman Redeemer Who has made all the difference in my life, even though I despised that Redeemer because I secretly despised myself. I rejected Him because of my anguish. I hid my face from Him because I was so ashamed. I esteemed Him not because, even though I did my religion with the utmost determination, I had not the faintest idea Who He was.
But the punishment for my peace was upon Him, and by His wounds, I was healed. He and he alone gets all my gratitude.
I’ve been told that the reason I’m a feminist is because I was abused. I’ve been told that the reason I’m a bleeding heart liberal is because I was abused. HA! It just makes me laugh. All that’s up for debate, I guess… but here’s what I know:
I’m a daughter of God, a princess. Because Christ came.
This weary world rejoices, and I rejoice in the Hope He brings.
#HopeIsHere
Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying M-Inklings Writing Group. She lives with her husband, Sean-Martin, in the beautiful state of Idaho and teaches English and Literature during the school year to the best 7th graders the world over. Daisy spends her summers writing, speaking, researching, creating, gardening, and canning.
Hope Givers: Hope is Here, is the sequel, of sorts, to her comedic, spiritual memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, which was Christopher Matthews #1 top selling book in 2012. She has also written a free e-book for anyone who has or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You.
Please follow her weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
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