Hello Rainy Dais Family!
I’m going to start a series of posts where I’ve transcribed my interview with Cody Stauffer and the All That’s Holy: Blue Collar Podcast. You’ll be able to read the interview in weekly snippets, but you can also listen to the entire interview here. Cody and I discuss everything from overcoming insurmountable obstacles, finding God outside the church, having the moxie to demand where He is when really bad things happen to us, coming out of the closet with your pain, how American Christians are socialized to do religion, being a Hope Giver before DINNER, swinging swords, peeing in the right bathroom, changing the world one snarky Facebook meme at a time, Hope for perpetrators of abuse, how Hope divides us, inviting people over for dinner who fly Confederate flags off the back of their trucks, a church who had to close its doors because a former victim of sexual abuse sued them andwon, this liberal who found grace among very conservative people, a downloadable curriculum for churches in dealing effectively with child sexual abuse within their own congregations, and even some talk on writing, the writing process, Dr. Gary D. Schmidt (of course — I love that guy!), switching to fiction, getting published, working with writing groups, and being terribly late to the Harry Potter party.
How could you pass this up?
CODY: Here we are. So what is a Hope Giver? How do you define a giver of hope?
DAISY: The first thing I do is to explain what a Hope Giver is not. A Hope Giver is not someone who goes out spewing rainbows and glitter …
CODY: (Laughs)
DAISY: … and I say this all the time … splattering, you know, happiness on sad people, to make them want to put their arms around life again.
CODY: Correct.
DAISY: You know, it’s like you get these … these pictures of a Hope Giver flitting about singing Doris Day songs. I don’t… I don’t know who those people are.
CODY: (Laughs)
DAISY: Hope Givers actually, the way I define a Hope Giver is someone who intentionally and purposefully… deliberately, right? Places themselves in close proximity to the suffering of others… for the sole purpose – and I always say – the S-O-L-E purpose and the S-O-U-L purpose …
CODY: That’s right.
DAISY: … of pouring out hope into their lives. And sometimes that looks like just sitting with people [in their pain]. I go into a lot more detail in the book.
CODY: Obviously, yeah. Um, so… for you, getting your book out there…
DAISY: Yeah…
CODY: … was it a key part of your progress? Journey? Healing and all that?
DAISY: You know, people always ask me, “Was writing Juxtaposed cathartic for you in any way?” And I say, “No.”
CODY: No. Okay…
DAISY: It really wasn’t. It… I had already done so much of the emotional, spiritual work of healing and restoration before I ever embarked on the endeavor of writing it, but I’ll tell you what was super cathartic… is Hope Givers.
CODY: Ah. Okay.
DAISY: I actually put Hope Givers away – for a long time – for several months before I figured out what it needed to be. Because in 2013, when I’m trying to write this, I had so many friends lose their children… or suffer some devastating loss… and here I’m trying to write a book about Hope, and it really was a journey for me in figuring out what a Hope Giver needed to be.
CODY: Did that year, that period… I think it was four friends who lost …
DAISY: Yeah.
CODY: … including two people who committed suicide?
DAISY: Yes.
CODY: A lot of tragedy.
DAISY: Yes.
CODY: How did that change the trajectory of where you were going with the book? And then how did it change you as a Hope Giver?
DAISY: You know, I think I really was trying to splatter happiness on sad people. I think I was guilty of the very thing that I figured out that Hope Givers weren’t.
CODY: Right.
DAISY: And there… I’ve never, in my adult life, ever had any appreciation for pat answers…
CODY: Mmmhmm…
DAISY: …simple answers… because that’s all from my past, you know…
CODY: Right.
DAISY: I know that pat answers didn’t work for me. I always say those ten cherry-picked Bible verses that I memorized, you know, to answer every single one…
CODY: Every one!
DAISY: … of life’s questions and problems… If a person were not receptive to that, well, I just knew that the Holy Spirit just needed to work on their heart.
CODY: Ha ha! (Laughs)
DAISY: That just not what it’s about. And, really, I had to go through the process of remaining close to grief. You gotta cuddle right up! It’s such a… that’s a hard sell too in churches. I think that is the very antithesis of how we are socialized to be as American Christians.
CODY: Mmmhmm!
DAISY: We have to pursue life, liberty and happiness!
CODY: That’s right…
DAISY: And that is our God-given right… right?
CODY: Yep!
DAISY: But I think the message of Christ is, in this world you’ll have trouble. But take heart. I’ve overcome the world. But, you know, this escapism… people just want to be anywhere except with sadness or grief or turmoil.
Image may be NSFW.
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Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying M-Inklings Writing Group. She lives with her husband, Sean-Martin, in the beautiful state of Idaho and teaches English and Literature during the school year to the best 7th graders the world over. Daisy spends her summers writing, speaking, researching, creating, gardening, and canning.
Hope Givers: Hope is Here, is the sequel, of sorts, to her comedic, spiritual memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, which was Christopher Matthews #1 top selling book in 2012. She has also written a free e-book for anyone who has or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You.
Please follow her weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.